‘I had told you. There was no need of separate bachelor parties. Our gang was enough’. Uday boasted as he picked up a chair and placed for me at the table. My bachelorette party had just ended. The Royal Grounds were littered with sparkling ribbons and empty bottles. Uday walked further looking for more chairs for the rest of the gang. Most of the chairs lay toppled or upside-down reveling in the starry night. The chairs seemed to have enjoyed the party the most.
‘Come on, I had so much fun. It was so exciting, the whole idea of celebrating your single- hood for the last time. You are just jealous that you were not allowed there’. I laughed at him. My only regret was that I was not still high, as in tumbling and rolling down types. In fact, however much I drank, I never got that kind of high, ever. Not even today, at my bachelorette.
I adjusted my dress before sitting. It required one before every change of position. I must have spent maximum time on selection of this dress of all my wedding outfits, even more than the bridal one. I was finding it difficult to move around in it especially after drowning myself with I don’t know how many glasses of Vodka.
But I was happy. Happy not only with the dress, not only with the party but the happiest right now, with the five of us, the best of friends we have been all our lives, till date. Two girls and three boys. As always, after every party, just the five of us. Our own little bachelorette.
‘Now take off these killer heels and relax. You have got a long day ahead’. Aditi got up, took off my heels and began pressing my neck and shoulders. She always knew what I wanted. Better than me.
‘Hey, why are your hands so cold and clammy?’ She enquired .
‘Must be the wine’. I answered while clenching my fists.
‘Neha, I know you more than yourself’. Aditi looked at me holding my face in her hands. ‘Come on. You are just shifting next door, your second home. You have had countless breakfasts and lunches there all your life’.
‘And you even know the number of the plumber for the house if the flush is not working’. Raj jumped in.
‘Eewwww. Shut up’. Aditi snubbed Raj.
She came back to me. ‘You don’t even know how lucky you are to get one of us - one of the gang, for a life partner?’
‘Who had stopped you from getting one?’ Raj quipped looking away from us. Aditi and Raj were the first couple in this gang of five. But no longer.
‘I know, we should all have got married amongst us only’. Said Uday. He never expressed but I could see that sometimes he felt left out between the on and off romantic chatter and theatrics of me and Samar and Raj - Aditi. Whenever there was any fight or a disagreement , he was the first person in the gang to make efforts for a patch up. I often called him Mr. Glue. When we all got busy with our jobs and work , mostly it was him who made the plans to meet up. He was blessed with the curse of the ‘odd’.
‘How? Please explain the maths’. I responded to Uday’s absurd suggestion. My eyes were still wavering between Aditi and Raj. How I wish they did not have that stupid fight two years back . A fight for which Uday could not find a patch. A fight which did not have much of a reason but the thaw it created paved a different life for her, for both of them. For all of us.
‘At least Aditi you could. Look at that husband of yours he did not even come today’. Uday quipped again. ‘Must be super busy as always’. Aditi did not respond. She knew how earnest this jibe was, a yearning to implore if she still could do something about it.
‘It does not matter who joins or leaves, this gang will always remain thick’. Raj got up and turned his back towards us sipping on his drink. Whether he primed up or lessened Aditi ’s pain, he seemed wondering. All this while Samar had been silent. Off and on busy with his phone.
‘Aditi, I think your husband is jealous of the bond we share’. Uday teased her in his signature matter of factly manner.
‘Uncomfortable…awkward, rather’. I tried to douse the fire. Uday fell back in the chair making a face. I think he got the point.
‘But look at you. Stop drowning yourself with drinks’. Aditi diverted the conversation swiftly . ‘You are going to burst if you take another one and all these pearls on you will come off’. I did not look up from the drink. The bridal butterflies in my tummy were not letting me go of it. I was wondering why they were fluttering inside . This was not an arranged marriage, not even a love marriage.
‘Stop it. How will you get in to your trousseau tonight?’ She snatched the glass from me.
‘Let her be. Have not we seen her way heavier’. Samar joined the conversation raising his arms around his waist . ‘A little bloat, I can tolerate’.
I shot off the cushion at Samar. One of the five in this group, who was going to be my husband tonight. He pinched his lips and mimicked a kiss at me in his filmy style. ‘I hope he stays the same’. I touched my head to wish so. Aditi hugged me and touched her head for our happy future together.
‘Oh there they go again with their touchwood business. Why doesn’t the feminist within you stay away from this touchwood ritual. I mean you are actually acknowledging that there is only deadwood inside your heads. Wow!’ Uday laughed but no one gave him company.
‘But I am double happy that this marriage is not a threat to our friendship’. Raj came in with his opinion . He had never been so, too touchy about the gang. He was probably too drunk. Or the wedding paraphernalia had rushed in memories he was unable to handle. I could sight a glint of anguish across Aditi’s face.
‘Absolutely. And cheers to that. Cheers to this beautiful friendship of ours and above all, cheers to the lovely couple-Mr. and Mrs. Samar and Neha Roy’. Uday raised a chest-thumping toast with one of the vintage glasses I had picked up from Jaipur for this party .
‘Hey when did that happen?’ I shot a look at Uday. I could see the color draining from his face.
I shifted my gaze to Samar. ’Sounds nice to the ears though’. I softened my choice of words a bit. ‘I mean I have not even given a thought about any tinkering with my surname yet’.
‘But Mrs. Roy, it has already been announced to the whole world’. Uday after receiving an affirmative beckon from Samar flashed the cover of an invitation card for the housewarming party. He had a few copies in his leather bag. The card was printed in my favorite color. Deep cobalt blue. Handmade paper with all print in gold. It smelled of a special mist. I had reveled in this mist last month with Samar when the gardener was sprinkling the dried earth on our farm with water. The card showed the hosts as Mr. and Mrs. Samar Roy. At the lower end of the card, the names featured again, separately. This time - Samar and Neha Roy. In block letters.
All eyes were at me. And mine at Samar.
‘Oh come on Uday, this was supposed to be a surprise for her’. A disappointed Samar howled at him. Samar knew I loved surprises. But this time it was my name. I was yet to think, yet to decide, yet to even see if the whole changing process was even worth a thought.
‘Wait. I am not getting anything’. I extended my hands in front to seek control of my racing mind. I could see my fingers trembling. The reason , I could not pinpoint. Samar walked up to me . Aditi left her chair for him. He sat down and placed his hands on my knees. ‘Listen. Dad and Mom are gifting a new house on our wedding. Our reception party would be held there only’. His jaws clenched.
‘But why do we need a separate house. I wanted to continue with the way life was earlier. Plus I can see my parents anytime by just hopping a wall. This is so far’. Words rushed out of me on their own.
‘Of course, it is your call. But we can decide that after this housewarming’. He looked at Raj and Uday who stood cluelessly staring at us. Aditi and me, one by one. It felt like a replay of the day he proposed to me. The only difference was that he was not on his knees right now and instead of an expression of happiness and excitement, confusion was written large across.
‘What about this name? I shirked off the ramble scurrying in my head again.
‘What name?’ Samar asked. I could see the familiar throbbing faint vein on his forehead. Many a times, while playing Monopoly during summer vacations in school, I would cheat, something in me loved the sight of this throbbing pulse. Nowadays, it scares me of his hypertension.
‘Didn’t you hear - Neha Roy’. I raised my voice.
‘Oh! Is there something wrong?’ He spoke matter of factly. I could not relate to his calm. ‘I hope there are no errors in spellings’. He shifted his gaze to Uday. ‘ Uday I had told you to doubly check’. Uday was still in shock.
‘No, just that I have not given a thought to this name business ever’. I replied as Aditi came nearer and stood next to me.
I did not doubt his intentions. But could not get as to why did he not ask me before? Why did he not feel the need to discuss or seek my consent before changing my name, my identity? A part of me? My mind could rummage only two possibilities- either he feared I would not agree or he did not feel the need to ask me. Careless or forgetful he could not be, I had been with him since we crawled around in nappies.
‘So you do not want to change?’ He asked wide eyed. My doubts were finding a life.
‘May be. I need to think it over’. I was watchful of every word that was finding its way out of me.
‘But it is high time. You should have done so’. Samar miffed and knocked off a glass of wine by mistake. The wine in the glass splashed and began trickling down the golden table cover, drop by drop.
‘You never mentioned it to me Samar’. I clarified.
He took in a deep breath. ‘Never mind, think it over now. You have good two days’. His hands were fidgety.
‘And if I may decide other wise?’ I pressed Aditi ’s hand tighter. I was sure even she did not have any idea of this plan. About Uday being a part of this so called surprise, I did not have the mind and the energy left to bother. I just stared at him. He turned his gaze down.
Samar breathed in deep again. ‘Why would you do so? I fail to understand. Hope you do not have the same doubts about this marriage?’ He held me by my shoulders. Aditi grabbed my hand tighter.
‘No. Its just that I find it awkward. I mean I am Neha Sharma. Neha Roy does not feel me’. His eyes were compelling me to just follow him, blindly. I tried to stay put.
Raj barged in. ‘I have a suggestion. Why do not we make it- Neha Sharma Roy’.
‘Such a cover up that would be??’ I shouted . Another glass of wine got knocked over.
‘No!’ Samar got up. His legs were looking for a place to settle. ‘It would not be a cover up. Please do not insult my family. It would rather be a sign that you are now our family’. He popped in the tablet Dr. Narain had prescribed. He always kept it in his pocket.
‘That has been my family since I was born , much before this marriage. And we are already throwing so many parties. The whole world would get to know it. So why do I need to announce it to everyone everyday’. I joined him in this shouting contest. All fell quiet. He sat down holding his head in his hands.
‘But most of the invites have already been sent . We will discuss it later, right now no change is possible’. He announced to all five of us standing around the table with knocked off glasses. The tablet had brought in a calm. But I could offer him only a blank look. Others followed.
‘Hey you are behaving as if I am forcibly changing your name like in those ancient rural times’. He turned away from me and began pacing up and down next to the table, each step firm and turn confident. I crossed my arms . He continued. ‘And If I, rather all of us here remember correctly, you always hated your name, right?’ He stopped and turned towards me. ‘Did not you always say that if you stand on any traffic light in Delhi and call out your name, 10’s of Neha would come out’.
‘So why such a ruckus now? I thought you would rather appreciate it. Neha Sharma to Neha Roy or Neha Sharma Roy , whichever way you want. Remember you and Aditi used to try out different names and combinations of your name in school on the desk . When did you start getting so emotional about your name?’ A familiar smirk appeared on his face.
‘Yes, but it is still my name, my identity. It is me’. ‘And I deserve to be asked’.
‘How does it make a difference? From now on you are Roy family ’s daughter in law. Can be called by any name?’ With a whiff of hand, Samar had spoken many unsaid things.
‘Not any name?’ I shot back at him. The trembling had spread far beyond my fingers.
‘I am sorry. I did not mean that. But essentially we remain the same whether Sharma or Roy, no? Nothing has changed so why the fuss?’ Samar came back at me again, though with a lower pitch.
‘Exactly. I remain the same. You remain the same. Then, let everything remain the same. Why are we changing then?’ I replied.
This was a different Samar, I realized.
‘But I cannot change the cards now. It will an embarrassment for the family to delete the surname. Might send wrong signals ’.
‘That the new bahu is too assertive?’ I retorted.
He did not answer. Did not even look back at me. That irked me further.
So I am right. I walked up to the other table and got hold of Uday ’s bag . As I fumbled through the bag, Uday came over and took out a marker . He smiled at me as I took over the pen . I bent down and added Sharma to Mr. Samar Roy. A tad plain Sharma written in black now gave company to the gold printed and royal Samar Roy.
‘Here’. I handed over the scribbled card to him. ‘No embarrassment. In fact an opportunity for you to be the youth icon on social media’.
‘How can I ?’ Samar looked unbelievingly at Raj and Uday .
‘And how can I’? I looked at Aditi.
‘Have you ever seen this happening before? Ever? I would end up being a joke, or a sucker for eyeballs. Don’t be kiddish. Raj, Uday, Please tell her’.
‘Right. You adding my surname to yours is blasphemous and me even asking to think about it is kiddish? Wow!’ I deliberately knocked off the third glass on the table.
A minute of silence followed.
‘Come on it is just a name’. Samar pleaded .
‘Rightly so , it is just a name’. I affirmed.
And you love me, no?
Nice narrative and language. Slightly long.